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Welcome to Focused on the Positive

This is an interactive blog, designed to uplift and inspire, to encourage the idea that it is better to give service than be selfish. Let us celebrate all the good going on in the world, and choose to help those around us even in the smallest ways. Let's make a conscience choice to spread goodness. So, join in, and share anything positive that has happened lately, no matter how small. Whether it's a specific time when you chose to be kind when it was easier to get angry, or something small that made you smile. These experiences will become infectious, and make a difference in our own lives, and the lives of others.
Comments/suggestions about the blog, or have something you want me to post. Great!

Email me at focusedonthepositive@gmail.com

Friday, June 24, 2016

Food for Thought



This morning I was out working in my garden.  It's one of my favorite spaces.  My thoughts and plants grow simultaneously as I work.

Today my thoughts were caught up on the ability to grow vegetables vs. weeds.  I try, and try, and try, to get my cucumbers to grow.  But I have yet to produce a good cucumber plant.  They very same night that they sprout up, they are gobbled up by ravenous creeping things.

As for the weeds, I put absolutely no effort in to growing them, in fact I put a lot of effort in to preventing them, and yet they still seem to pop up over night and thrive.  They can grow where there is no water.  They grow in the rocks.  They grow anywhere and everywhere. 

Why is it SO hard to be successful at growing and harvesting good crops, yet so easy to grow weeds? 

I want to relate this to our thoughts.  The ability to be happy and have good thoughts takes constant work.  You must be proactive.  The moment you relent negativity flourishes.

The one thing I noticed in the garden was that the weeds just sprout up on their own. Plants, however need to be purchased and planted.  It's the same with our thoughts.  Negative thoughts pop into our head all the time.  They just do.  They are random and rampant. 

Positive thoughts also have to be "purchased" and "planted".  By being purchased I mean the desire has to be there.  We need to want it. We have to make that choice.  Then we need to plant the seed of positivity.  There are many ways we can do this; looking on the bright side, giving people the benefit of the doubt,  choosing to smile instead of frown. 

Instead of nurturing the negative, we need to start nourishing the positive and then let it bloom. 

If a weed can grow in uncultivated soil, or even rock, then think of how well it would grow if it were watered and maintained.  It is the same with negativity.  We have to push out those negative thoughts as they arise, and not give them a chance to root. 

Our society has taken a liking to finding fault, and sharing it with the world.  We like to fuel the fire of negativity. 

Pointing fingers has no benefits. 

Putting others down gets you no where. 

It just multiples misery. 

But I know that kindness heals.  Our choices matter, and if we choose kindness we can make a difference.  We can teach others by example.  And if nothing else, we will be happier.  So my challenge to you is to give positivity a try.  Cultivate kindness.  See the difference it makes in your life.  Then please share your experience.  You can share it with me at focusedonthepositive@gmail.com and I'd be happy to post it on the blog.  I will be trying my best as well.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Good luck!


If you enjoyed this post you might also like Storing up the Sunlight



Monday, May 16, 2016

Metamorphasis

Scrawny, awkward, buck toothed, pale, shy.
That was me.

I remember people commenting on how "skinny" I was from the time I was a little, little girl.  I remember having the desire to disappear, to be invisible.  I started slouching and hunching over around 5.  I'd give up on things quickly, or ask for help right away because I didn't think I was capable.  Normal "fun" things for other kids were not fun to me.   

Jump down from a rock?  Nope.  I'll sit and slide myself down, thank you very much.  Jump off the swings?  First off, I'll swing only at a safe, comfortable height, then slowly come to a stop and gently step off.  I always chose the safest route. 

People also scared me.  My brother used to bring home "friends" for me to play with because I was so shy.  I wouldn't play on a playground if other kids were there, I'd just sit and watch until the coast was clear.  However, I did make friends. I was likeable, just unconfident. 

That was the case through out school.  Elementary, Junior High, and High School.  I was a "nice"girl.  I blended in to the background well.  The slouching got worse when I got braces and headgear in my already terrible teen/tween years. (I still have nightmares about the headgear, no joke)  I looked out for the little guy, and longed to be anyone but me.  I was comfortable with a few, who could get my giggly, goofy side out; but froze in front of the rest of the population.  I was quiet and polite, a perfect little girl.  I never caused trouble.  I was content to just sit and be quiet. 

My one outlet was music. I didn't realize it until recently, but as a kid I'd go in my room, shut the door, turn up the music and figuratively sing my heart out.  It was like a nice was of shouting, without anyone knowing. 

That was me. 

This is me. 

I will be 35 in a couple of months, and I finally, finally feel comfortable in my own skin.  For the first time in my life I don't feel the need to be valued from outside sources.  I don't feel like that scared little 5 year old girl in a grown up body.  I don't really care what others think of me, and it's entirely freeing. 

Since I have let go of my hang ups I have realized few things about myself; I am smart.  I am capable.  I can do hard things.  I don't need others to like me in order to like myself. 
 
Most Importantly:
****I was the one holding myself back***

Once I let go of my fear I became empowered.  I became a new person.  I metamorphasized.  (I know, that's not a word, but it fits.)   Life is much better when you like yourself, and you believe in yourself.  When you can depend on yourself instead of others for personal happiness.     
 
So if you are not where you would like to be; if you have your own five-year-old-girl complex of some kind, don't worry.  You can beat it.  It took me almost 35 years.  But its do-able and it's worth it.  Just like the seed is capable of becoming the tree, you are capable of becoming what you desire. 
 
Don't be the thing holding you back. 
 
We don't get to choose how we start, but we are in charge of how we end up. 
 
 

Friday, May 1, 2015

Store Up The Sunlight

Just a few days ago we celebrated my sons first birthday.  It's been a busy year for us.  Well, to be honest this has been the hardest year - no year and a half, of my life.  Some of the struggles I have shared, but there have been some extremely difficult personal struggles as well.  I've been doing a lot of cleaning lately, which I call therapeutic cleaning.  For some reason purging the house of junk helps me feel ..... better, happier, more optimistic.  It makes the chaos going on in my life feel less chaotic.  Anyways, as I was cleaning I came upon a cute little solar dancing flower. 

This trinket was given to me by my dad.  We were at the hospital with my little baby who had surgery on his skull.  Dad went to the gift shop to look for a toy for the baby and came back with this.  With everything going on at the time I didn't think much of it, (no offense dad).  I packed it up and brought it home and forgot about it.  But as I came upon it the other day, months after it was given to me, and after some super hard things have come my way, I was so happy to see it.  Now it has a message and a purpose.  It is a reminder to me to store up the sunlight for the dark days.  So that when those dark days come I can have a reserve of happiness to get me through. 

Since I found it I put it on the corner of the dresser, where it gets a bit of sunlight.  I love to watch it and hear the tick, tick, tick, as it dances.  I notice the silence on overcast days.  I also notice that even just the tiniest bit of sunlight is all it needs to dance.  Just as this flower stores up the sun to dance its happy dance, we too can store up the good things for the bad days.  Just as people have food and blankets for emergencies we can also have a surplus storage of happiness to keep us afloat during times of stress or anguish.  Because everyone has hard days.  Everyone. 

How can we store up happiness?

Look For The Good
Take in the good that is given to us. If you're wearing sunglasses you can't see the full brightness of the sun, right?  We need to take off our metaphorical sunglasses and see all of the goodness that is around us.  It's in all of the little things.  Someone held the door open - that's a good thing.  Someone smiled at you as they walked by - another good thing.  If we look for them they will not pass us by.  Each positive thing we notice can become a brick that we add to our foundation of happiness.  But we have to look for it, and not ignore it. 

What if there is nothing good happening around me?

I believe that there is always some good happening to everyone.  Sometimes it's abundant, other times we have to look harder to find it, but there is always some good. And if you can't find it, then make it. 

How do we store it up?

Grab On To The Good 
When we find those good things, hold on to them.  Write them down, talk about them, be thankful for them.  Put them on your FB timeline.  Call your girlfriends to talk about them.  Tell your kids about them.  Don't let them be like a feather in the wind.  Etch those good things in the stone of your memories!

Keep a Gratitude Journal 
A gratitude journal is a  book that you use to write down all of the things you are grateful for.  One of the things I've dealt with is insomnia.  I tried everything I could think of to get some sleep but the only thing that helped was thinking about all the things I was grateful for.  I would think about my day and make a long mental list and before I could even finish I would fall asleep, and stay asleep.  A gratitude journal could be the perfect remedy for so many of life's trials.

Do What Makes You Happy
This is self explanatory, but think about what brings you peace and joy and make sure that is happening in your life.  For me that might be playing with my kids, reading my scriptures, doing yard work, helping others, etc.  Do whatever brings a smile to your face. 

Hard times are a part of life.  They are supposed to happen, and they are supposed to happen to everyone. 

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 

If we can successfully store up the sunlight on those good days, we will have the energy to dance, even in the dark.