Project: Sanity

I have been working on updating the systems in my life recently.  The summer schedule and cleaning system have been updated, and it sure feels great to be organized!  Now that the household things are under control, time to do a little work on the inside by reprograming my inner dialogue. Boy could that use a re-vamp!  

If it were possible I would hire a pep squad to live in my head and give my inner dialogue a lesson or two.  You see I am part perfectionist, (which is terrible because I make SO MANY mistakes and am always dissapointed with myself) and part do-gooder, constantly setting myself up to do too much, feeling unsatisfied with the quality of my do-gooding.  Ahh.  It's hard.  So many quirky issues living in my head alongside the will to do better.  Plus, I just say dumb stuff sometimes, and overthink things.

I don't think I am the only one like this though.  I am pretty sure we all could update the voice inside of us to be a tiny bit kinder, and a little less crazy.  Right?  But how do we begin?  How do I download a whole new way of thinking?  I don't know.  But I guess just wanting to change is a good start.  See, now my brain is thinking "Stop.  People are going to think you are insane.  Negative name calling..."  Oh man, this could be a challenge.  But I think it is a valuable one.  Because thoughts are powerful.

SUCCESS!

I went grocery shopping and didn't get frustrated or lose my temper. I was in a good mood the whole time. AND I had both of my kids with me, and went to multiple stores!!! SUCCESS!!! Just had to share.

A courteous canuck's parenting lesson

Have you ever had the realization that you are doing something wrong.  You thought it was the right way to do it, and have been doing it for years, and now realise it should be done differently.  How funny!  I just had that happen to me too!

So you know I'm Canadian, eh.  In my Canadian culture we are very polite.  We say please and thank you, we smile and say hello to passers by, etc.  That's just how we are.  It's a Canadian thing, and I have it bad.

If I ask you for something I ALWAYS say please, and when you do ANYTHING for me I ALWAYS say thank you.  Keep in mind that I am a mom.  And when you are a mom you have to tell/ask (tell for you normal people, ask for me the Canadian) your children to do things everyday, all the time. 

Here's an example of how I, "the Canadian" would request something of my child:
"Put your dishes in the dishwasher, please."
and then when they do it I say "thank you".
 And that's the drill for every request made.

Now in my mind I am only technically asking my children to do things, they don't actually have the option to say no, it is completely rhetorical.  I am just being nice and adding a please on to the end of my ..."do this"  because it is polite. 

Somehow my almost 6 year old started thinking that I AM asking her to do things, and she has started occasionally saying no.  Of course I laugh out loud, because it wasn't really a question, she just forgot that I am a nice person and that's what nice people do. 

So now I am rethinking this whole super-kind-please-and-thank-you-for-everything deal.  PLUS, the real down side is now she is used to hearing "thank you" for everything she does.  And I recently have come to the conclusion that people shouldn't have to be acknowledged for every little thing.  I really regret that I have done that to my oldest.  Luckily my kids are young enough that I can still change my system and correct any failures I have made. 

So the jist is, I am just a flawed Canadian trying to figure out this parenting thing amongst non-Canadians. 
So how do you let your kids know that you are the boss, while being a good example??
Please share your comments, parenting advice, etc.

Ode to Fathers

I am not a poet by any means,

but here is my Father's Day poem:

Ode to Fathers

Never afraid of big bad spiders,

Or teaching scardy cats to be bike riders.

Letting us beat you, or so we thought.

Eating the fish that together we caught.

Chasing away monsters from under the bed.

Giving your shoulder to my tired head.

Doing the dirty work that needs to be done,

to make sure the family gets to have fun.

You have a tough job, and I thought I should say

Dad's are amazing, so have a GREAT day!

Whether a father, grandfather, husband, or friend,

you men are important.
We are grateful to have you in our lives.

Happy Fathers' Day!!

Calling on YOU

Hey folks,

Don't know if you've noticed, but I've been a little busy lately, so I am asking for your help with the Warm Fuzzy's.  If there is a person in your life who is AMAZING why don't you write up a fancy article about how awesome they are and email it to me so I can put it on the blog!  Deal? Deal.  Here's my email: focusedonthepositive@gmail.com

Don't know what I am talking about?  Click on the Warm Fuzzy's link at the top of the page and it will all make sense.
Thanks!

What's Important

This was posted a while ago, but I thought it was worthy of reposting for those that missed it.

Here's what is really important to me. Warning, some of it is kind of deep, and/or touchy feely. I'm not talking about the superficial, or temporal. I am talking about if you really boil things down and thought about what is important in LIFE. Here's what is important to me.

First, having a personal individual relationship with God is beyond essential for me personally. Knowing and having faith in him.  Knowing that he loves me and hears my prayers, and that there is a divine plan, brings me so much peace and comfort.

Love. Being loved and letting others know that I love them. It is absolutely wonderful to feel like someone else here needs me, whether it's my spouse, child, or best friend. It's just good to feel love. It is also just as wonderful to give that love.

Being a good person is also important to me. Caring about others, helping people, having a good heart is important to me.

Having morals, beliefs, standards, traditions are all important. Knowing what you are made up of, and truly believe in is important, as far as knowing who you are (it's also helpful when raising children).

As I sit and think about what life is really about, so many things that had high priority seem completely insignificant. Every now and again it's refreshing to refocus, and make sure life is going in the right direction. I need to make more of an effort to tell the people I love that I love them, and to give genuine compliments more often to more people. Because I think our relationships are what we take with us when everything is said and done.

Those are my thoughts. They are my personal, individual thoughts. Thank you for reading them. I'd love to know what things are important to you. Please share your thoughts.